I am at work between clients. I didn’t have a good sleep last night and then the time change. I’m shaking I’m so tired.  Yes, the clock said 6:30 but my internal clock told me it was 5:30.  Mornings are my nemesis. Sometimes I think I should go back to working overnights. I am way more productive in the late evening. If I were ever in a hostage situation where they withhold sleep I would just tell them what they need immediately then go to bed.

I posted yesterday about a referendum in our city to borrow 80 million to build an ice rink. It was shot down. 80 % (!) felt as I do. No. It’s a terrible idea. We live on an island and there will never be enough interest in a junior league hockey team. Just when you are about to give up on the judicial system, something right happens.


Not True 

This to my U.S. friends. This afternoon a client had the news on and an American Town Hall program was on. A Republican got up and said something along the lines that Canadians and English citizens have free access to healthcare and we are regularly turned down for surgeries. Not true. I have never, ever been turned down for a surgery, and I have had several. No family member or friend has ever been turned down. When my mom had Ovarian cancer she was not turned away or given anything less that excellent care. I work in the healthcare field and no client has ever, ever gone without a needed surgery.  In fact, any healthcare received has been 100% covered. (I can’t speak for England. Joey? Can you tell us?) I’m not saying this to try and say how much better Canada is because it’s not. We sometimes have long wait times in non-emergency cases. I am saying this because I am angry that US  politicians are using deceit and fear to try to sway good and honest Americans to think that Universal Health Care is a bad thing.

Okay, that rant over.

We have a small municipal referendum today. It is voting yes or no for the city to borrow 80 million dollars to finance a hockey rink. I have never seen so many people divided over an issue! People are angry on either side. It is what everyone seems to be talking about. For the record, I voted no.  My daughter came with me today and it was her first time voting. She voted no as well. I was actually surprised that she knew so much about the issue. I was so proud. I was going to take a picture but you aren’t allowed to take pictures at polling stations.

Putting the cart before the horse, I ordered a quilt for my bedroom. Since you all have not ever met me you don’t know that I rarely wear makeup. The only jewelry I wear is my wedding band and on my days off, my engagement ring.  It can scratch the thin and fragile skin of my elderly clients and is unsanitary. My clothes are simple and fit into one tiny closet. But I love a pretty and feminine bedroom! I love the traditional “girly” colours like pink and purple. I like things with flowers. Last night I went to Overstock.com and ordered this. I spent way too much.  am very cheap thrifty and rarely spend money on silly things but I decided to get this after several hours of getting to the point of giving my credit card information then deleting what was in my cart and leaving the site. Anyway, it’s ordered and on its way. I don’t expect you all to love it, everyone has different tastes. But I love it!

Okay. That’s all I got.

And again, I can’t edit this post. What’s up, WordPress?


Not Again!

It’s snowing. Again. It March! It is not supposed to snow here much at all and yet, it is snowing like it means it.








Q (why is that Q there? It won’t delete for some reason.)

Here’s something that happened during my blogging break. I was going through my cedar chest. It was beautiful once upon a time until my daughter, about 7 at the time, decided to write her brother’s name on it thinking he would get in trouble. Of course I recognized the hand writing as hers and not his. The chest was in miserable shape so I decided to put the downstairs TV on it. The TV that isn’t even plugged in. Out of sight out of mind, right? (Remind me to get that huge thing hauled away.)  A couple of weeks ago I was looking for something, I can’t remember what, and I started cleaning the chest out. Piles upon piles of kids homework and art projects. Old newspapers. Photos. The clothes that my kids wore home from the hospital. (So teeny tiny!) All sorts of stuff. And this. I thought this painting was lost or I had got rid of it on one of my purges. I have been looking for it for years. At least 6. The reason it was so special is it was given to me by my great aunt in her will. She never had any children. She was a gifted artist and an even better poet. She had a book of poetry published.  Copies were only ever given to her family and members of her congregation but they are just beautiful. When I started doing genealogy the importance of family grew in me. I started focusing and learning about the women in my family. God knows we have heard about the men. Over the years I have learned a lot about my female family members.  As far back as my 4x great grandmother.  And the woman who did this painting.  Auntie Betty. She married a horrible man. As far as I know she left him but remained married. Because she was a good Christian woman. She obviously had her escape in poetry and art. When I found this out the painting meant so much more to me. It was a piece of her heart. It is only a small oil painting. About 5 x 11 but I love it.

There are all sorts of typos in this post but for some reason I can edit it.  Meh.


So This

This morning I woke up and decided to actually go to the doctor. It was early when I woke up for the 6th time having to go to the bathroom. At the stroke of 9:00 I called my doctor’s office and no, they could not fit me in but I could go to the drop in clinic, oh joy.  I got dressed and made my way there. “There are 92 people ahead of you”, said the kindly receptionist. Okay, that is a lie. There were only 8. She handed me a cup in which I peed. Then I sat and waited. I got into the doctor after 76 hours (or maybe it was 45 minutes) and the doctor told me that the antibiotics I was given on January 19th were not the right antibiotic. Nor was the one given to me in February. So I have had this UTI since about January 15th. Gah! Anyway, I am antibiotics again and desperately hoping that it goes away this time.

I’m glad you all like the colour I have chosen for my bedroom. I’m getting excited because I haven’t had a pretty bedroom since I was about 8 when my mom and (step) dad painted it pink and bought new curtains and bedspread that I called a breadspread. I’m also going to get a new nightstand because the one I have now is a prepac wood monstrosity that I don’t like at all. I’m also looking at a new light fixture because the one I have now is Holly Hobbie. She tells me to Start Each Day in a Happy Way. Piss off, HH. She obviously didn’t ever have to get up at 6:30 while it’s still dark out and drive in the snow. Anyway, I’m also getting new curtains and a  duvet cover. I miss my kids but I finally have extra money to spend on myself. I feel selfish for saying that.

I was so tired today so I had a nap but didn’t actually sileep. Other than going to see the doctor today I did nothing. Nothing.  Well, I unloaded the dishwasher. I did a load of laundry. And watched Call the Midwife. And I have every intention of going to bed early.

Even though it’s been cold there are teeny tiny buds starting to show. 12 days until the first day of spring.


It’s Been a Long Winter

It seems that every year winters last longer. This year is no exception. In fact, it is the 4th worst winter on record. Most winters we don’t even get snow. This year it has been snow non-stop. It’s exhausting. When you don’t regularly drive in it and then have to almost daily it wears on you. And because the people I care for are not able to shovel their sidewalks , driveways and stairs I am constantly scared of slipping. Anyway, more snow is in the forecast for this week.

My mental health is not great. It isn’t really bad but it is bad enough. The long dark days are bringing on depression and anxiety. Same old story.

One thing I have been doing to pass the time after work is knitting on my loom. It takes my brain to a different place for a while. This will be a blanket eventually. I have a long way to go and no idea how to get the individual strips together to form a blanket once they are completed but that is a thing to figure out another day.

It was my birthday a few weeks back. My husband spoiled me and so did my kids. Going out causes me anxiety so we just stayed home and ordered pizza which was a real treat for me. It seems as the years pass I become more like my mother. Staying home is so nice, especially in the winter. We had gone out two nights before for dinner with friends and I brought a blanket for the car along because I knew I would be cold. Yes. Just like my mom used to. When I was a teenager I remember her complaining about getting cold. It is the Pacific Northwest. It’s always damp. It gets into your bones.

My husband and I are going to be painting our house. Rather, we are hiring someone to paint. I have a latex allergy and can’t be around it, let alone touch it.  And we are getting the labour for a steal. Only $250.00 for three rooms. Because I snore, my husband and I sleep separately. I am thinking of doing my sleeping area in lavender. Something like in this picture.

In the never ending battle with UTI’s, I have another one. I’m starting to worry that it is becoming antibiotic resistant. I have already been on antibiotics twice this year and should be on them now but I am trying D-Mannose powder and a cranberry supplement instead. It is way more expensive than antibiotics and of course, not covered through medical. If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know!


Taking a Break From My Break

This  morning I was working and stopped to get gas.  It was in an area of town that is rather sketchy, across the road from a large homeless shelter and soup kitchen. As I was pumping gas a man was rummaging through the garbage bins looking for refundable soda cans.  He walked up to the bin closest to me and I said hello to him.  He saw this as an opening and this is the conversation that transpired. You can’t make this stuff up. 

Me – Good morning. 

Man – I am so mad at my son! He left me with this bag to carry and it’s heavy! (It was a black garbage bag.)

Me – Oh, that’s too bad. 

Man – Do you know what’s in it?

Me – No, what’s in it?

Man – A dead raccoon!

Me – Oh?

Man – Yes! 

He then went out unintelligibly about something that I could not quite understand about it being a female and how she is not going to be having anymore babies.  I was trying to figure out exactly how the raccoon came to be dead and why she ended up in a black garbage bag and why he was carrying it around but well, it was downtown and across from a homeless shelter and a soup kitchen. Lest you think me a horrible person it is an area that the police are having a lot of problems wth. It’s not safe. He, however looked harmless enough and there were people around so I wasn’t scared, just cautious. 

Me – Oh? 

Man – Yup.  I’m going to stuff her. 

Me – Pardon me?

Man – I’m going to stuff her!

He want on another unintelligible speech. I was still processing the fact he was packing a dead raccoon around in a black garbage bag. I could tell by looking at the bag that it was indeed a dead raccoon. At this point he had finished rummaging in the garbage bin. Me? I was baffled and speechless. He begins to walk away and bids me a good day.

Me – (in a weak voice) Bye. Have a good day. 

He then turns back to me and, 

Man – Do you know what I have in my backpack? 

Good lord. How do I get myself into these conversations? 

Me – No. What’s in your backpack?

Man – My dead wife’s death certificate!

Don’t ask if he killed her. Don’t ask if he killed her.

Me – Oh! Um, is that a good,thing or a bad thing?

Man – A good thing! I hated her. She stole half a million dollars from me! 

I don’t even remember what happened at this point. I just remember him walking away and looking in the garbage bin the next row over.  I should probably check my gas cap because I don’t remember putting it on. I just remember getting in my car and driving away and thinking that I definitely need to blog this one. 


I’m Weary

I am. All this Trump stuff is just too much. Since he was elected I have twice been accused,  in a round about way,  that my words were hateful or racist. These comments came from kind and decent people and leave me feeling sad and confused. Both times it has caused me so much distress that I have trouble sleeping. One of the most basic tenets of my Quaker religious beliefs (along with Pacifism) is Equality. My dad was a Union rep who fought for rights and equality in the workplace so these beliefs were something I learned young. And no matter how hard I try to explain myself, I just dig myself deeper.

This Trump thing has me on edge. I am typing comments and deleting, retyping and deleting because I am afraid my words will be taken the wrong way. That isn’t what blogging has ever been about for me. It was about working my way out of depression and anxiety but now it is causing depression and anxiety. And so, like Facebook, I am taking a break. Maybe this Trump thing will settle down but it’s very unlikely. It has caused so much divisiveness, even amoung people who are standing together.

I will be reading your posts but not likely commenting. As I say, I am weary. And this is not about anyone, please don’t think that.  It’s about me. I have things I need to work through and blogging isn’t a place to do it. Namaste.


Addendum- I  had turned off comments then realized it wasn’t fair to you. They are back on.